The Bully & The Whistle Blower

The more time I spend studying human psychology, learning about how the mind works and the more people I work with. The more curious I become about people. Humans are very strange creatures, to me we are the most interesting animals of all. We have as much a capacity for love, as we have for hatred. As much as we want to truth we often do not like to hear the truth. The truth (factual truth) forces us to have to address issues, we are often ill equipped to deal with. And sometimes we feel it's easier to just ignore it and hope it goes away.

We are all one big contradiction, we are as kind, as we are cruel. The cruelty, if one is not a sociopath, is usually driven by fear. Our fear of losing out on something or the fear of change. I have also seen cruelty, driven out of the need to preserve the status quo. I have experienced this type of cruelty first hand, only because I had witnessed it being done to someone else, and wouldn't stand for it.

A wise woman once told me that if one is willing to stick by their principles they need to be willing to lose out on something. In this instance I decided to stand up for myself and tell them where to stick their job, without another job to go to. Enough really was enough.

I was the whistle blower that raised the issue of bullying in a workplace and soon became the person whom this bullying was then directed at. I flagged the fact it was unacceptable and tried to address it directly with the main instigator of the bullying, she initially thanked me for my honesty. And over time it just got worse, I soon became the scapegoat for anything that went wrong. I had raised the issues I was having, with the HR department, that were ignored by them over the years I had been there, with details of all the bullying that was going on in the department with me and other people. This had not been the first time someone had brought up issues of bullying with them, and it wouldn't be the last. A document with evidence recording all the bullying, is really not something HR is really equip to deal with. What I learned was this truth just caused the heads of the organisation to panic.

And instead of HR addressing the issues with the person concerned and investing in coaching for the people who need it. It is often easier to just pay the person who is the whistle blower off and give them a severance package. In some cases organisations put people through performance review, after performance review just to get rid of them. Instead of dealing with the real problem. No organisation wants to be taken to tribunal for bullying/discrimination/unfair dismissal. It doesn't look good for them and no employee really wants to take the employer to tribunal as it doesn't look great for them when they go to look for a new job. It scares perspective employers away.

The things that gets me about this entire situation is that I am not the only person who has ever experienced this. And will sadly also certainly not be the last. I learnt from that experience, early on in my career, as it helped me start my journey towards spending the next few years learning, observing and looking for solutions to the very problems, I had seen unfold in front of me. And taught me how to nip this kind of behaviour in the bud, before it got out of hand. I have also been the kind of director to my team since that event that I wish I had. One that helps others succeed, empowering them, celebrating each of the successes they have had and coaching them through their communication issues.

The reality of business training is that no one really gets more than a day or 2 days of people management training. And they very often don't even get good mentors. I have been on several people management training courses and shockingly, more time is spent at these training sessions, with people having a moan about the people on their teams and on how to dismiss someone that you no longer want in your team (the dreaded performance review or putting someone back on probation or extending their probation. All the sneaky legal ways of getting rid of staff). The time needs to be spent on awareness training. Awareness of self and awareness of the other as a human.

Look I completely agree if someone is doing shoddy work and taking the mickey. And if you have tried and tried and tried to help them work it out. And still nothing, then I completely get it. Businesses shouldn't carry dead weight, people need to be engaged, proactive and working efficiently. Its okay to have the occasional off day or even the off week. But make that a habit and no employer should have to put up with it, especially if they have tried to help you work it out and put in the effort and energy to support you.

I implore you, be it in your personal life or your work life. If there is something under the surface that needs addressing. Do not just react to the symptoms and throw someone under a bus. Address the real issues! If you don't know how to do it yourself, then get a coach or a therapist. They are trained to help and facilitate in addressing the issues.

You want a great business management team. Then learn and teach them how to manage the tasks and time of the humans, whose work they are ultimately responsible for, by communicating with them in a way that is generative and brings out the best in them.